Surviving kept me alive. Thriving is teaching me how to live.
“You became who you needed to become in order to survive. Now it’s time to become who you need to become in order to thrive.”
🌻 A Quick Note Before We Begin
Every once in a while, something unexpectedly makes us stop and think.
For me, this diary entry began with a quote I stumbled across while scrolling.
I almost kept scrolling.
Instead, I paused.
The longer I sat with those words, the more I realized they weren’t simply describing my past.
They were inviting me to imagine my future.
If you’ve ever felt like you’ve spent more time surviving than truly living, I hope something in this diary entry reminds you that surviving isn’t the end of your story either.
💭 When a Quote Holds Up a Mirror
Some quotes make you smile.
Some make you think.
And every once in a while…
one quietly holds up a mirror.
This one did exactly that.
It made me ask myself a question I hadn’t considered before.
Have I been surviving for so long that I forgot it was okay to dream about thriving?
The answer surprised me.
Not because it was difficult to find…
But because it had been hiding in plain sight all along.
💪 Survival Wasn’t New to Me
Long before doctors gave names to the diseases attacking my body, survival had already become second nature.
I learned to be independent.
To solve problems.
To take care of everyone else.
To push through exhaustion.
To keep moving, no matter what.
Somewhere along the way, I became the dependable one—the planner, the fixer, the person everyone could count on.
Looking back, maybe chronic illness didn’t teach me how to survive.
Maybe it simply gave survival a different name.
At the time, I thought those qualities made me strong.
Today, I realize they also made it incredibly difficult to let anyone help carry me when life became heavier than I could manage alone.
💜 Then Survival Became Medical
When Crohn’s Disease entered my life, survival changed.
It became hospitalizations.
Treatments.
Procedures.
Medications.
Learning where every restroom was before leaving the house.
Packing extra clothes because Crohn’s has never cared about my plans… or my dignity.
A few diary entries ago, I shared the story of sneezing while waiting to board a flight when Crohn’s once again decided to humble me in public. At the time, I was absolutely mortified.
Today?
It’s one of the stories that makes people laugh the hardest.
Funny how time can transform embarrassment into perspective.
Just when I thought I had finally learned how to navigate life with one autoimmune disease, Myasthenia Gravis introduced itself.
Apparently, my immune system believes in collecting rare things.
Survival became learning how to breathe again.
Learning to trust medications.
Learning to sleep attached to machines.
Learning that climbing a flight of stairs or taking a shower could suddenly feel like an Olympic event.
Some days…
Simply making it through the day felt like enough.
🌱 Somewhere Along the Way…
Something unexpected happened.
Survival stopped being something I did.
It became who I was.
I became resilient.
Strong.
Independent.
Adaptable.
I smiled through pain.
I told people I was “fine” because explaining the truth felt exhausting.
I became so good at carrying heavy things that people stopped noticing I was carrying them.
Eventually…
I stopped noticing too.
Without realizing it, I stopped asking,
“What would bring me joy?”
Instead, every day became a single question:
“What do I need to do to make it through today?”
🌻 Looking Back Changed Everything
Growth is funny.
It rarely announces itself.
It happens quietly.
One conversation.
One setback.
One lesson.
One difficult decision.
One diary entry at a time.
As I’ve looked back over the entries I’ve written these past few months, I’ve noticed something I couldn’t see while I was living it.
The earlier entries were about surviving.
The more recent ones…
have been about living.
Acceptance.
Friendship.
Purpose.
Boundaries.
Hope.
Without realizing it, I had already begun the journey from surviving to thriving.
I just hadn’t named it yet.
💜 Learning a Different Way to Live
Recently, someone offered to help me.
Without even thinking, I smiled and said,
“I’ve got it.”
The truth?
I didn’t.
That response came so naturally that I almost missed what it revealed.
Survival had become muscle memory.
It had convinced me that relying on myself was safer than risking disappointment.
That tiny moment reminded me that surviving had taught me a lot.
But maybe…
not every lesson needed to come with me into the next chapter.
🌼 What Thriving Is Teaching Me
I’m beginning to understand that thriving doesn’t mean pretending I’m healthy.
It doesn’t mean my diseases disappear.
It doesn’t mean every day becomes easy.
It means changing the way I respond to the life I’ve been given.
I used to think strength meant never asking for help.
Now I think strength sometimes looks exactly like accepting it.
I used to believe productivity determined my worth.
Now I’m learning peace has value too.
I used to think rest had to be earned.
Now I believe rest is part of healing.
Most importantly…
I’m beginning to believe I deserve more than survival.
🎶 Maybe It’s Time for a New Playlist
As I reflected on all of this, Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” started playing in my head.
For years…
that song felt like my anthem.
Honestly…
it still does.
But maybe my life’s playlist is finally making room for songs about living.
Songs about joy.
Hope.
Purpose.
Healing.
Because surviving was never supposed to be the whole story.
For the first time in years, my dreams feel bigger than my diagnoses.
The Dual Diagnosis Diaries.
Wellness coaching.
Building a nonprofit foundation.
Helping people living with chronic illness feel seen, heard, and understood.
If you had told me a few years ago that one day I’d be grateful for the lessons hidden inside some of the hardest seasons of my life, I probably would have looked at you like you had lost your mind.
Yet here I am.
Not grateful for the diseases themselves.
But deeply grateful for the purpose they’ve helped uncover.
😅 Just Me and My Dysfunctional Body
Let’s be honest.
Crohn’s still has opinions.
Myasthenia Gravis still likes to humble me.
My body still refuses to check my calendar before scheduling a surprise flare.
Just me and my dysfunctional body…
still figuring it out together.
Maybe that’s the biggest lesson of all.
The goal was never to defeat my body.
The goal is to stop fighting it.
To become teammates instead of enemies.
Because we’ve both been through enough.
🌈 So What Does Thriving Look Like?
I’m still figuring that out.
Maybe thriving won’t look dramatic.
Maybe it won’t be measured by promotions or marathon finishes.
Maybe thriving looks like writing these diary entries.
Laughing with people I love.
Accepting help.
Choosing peace over perfection.
Saying yes when my body allows it…
and saying no without guilt when it doesn’t.
Maybe thriving isn’t the absence of illness.
Maybe it’s finally believing I can still build a beautiful life around it.
💜 Final Thoughts
That quote asked me a question I didn’t know I needed to answer.
The woman I became to survive deserves compassion.
She carried me through fear.
Diagnoses.
Hospital rooms.
Heartbreak.
Procedures.
Sleepless nights.
Disappointment.
Uncertainty.
She kept me alive.
I’ll always be grateful for her.
But she was never meant to be the final version of me.
Maybe…
it’s time to stop asking,
“How do I survive this?”
and start asking,
“How do I live well anyway?”
Because surviving wasn’t the destination.
It was simply the bridge.
And for the first time in a very long time…
I’m excited to discover where it leads.
💜 One Last Thought
Maybe surviving was the chapter that shaped me. But I have a feeling thriving is the chapter that will define me.
💬 Let’s Talk About It
Have you ever realized you were living in survival mode?
What does thriving look like for you in this season of life?
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.
💜 Thank You for Reading
Thank you for taking the time to read this entry from The Dual Diagnosis Diaries.
If my journey has resonated with you, I hope you’ll continue walking alongside me as I navigate life with Crohn’s Disease, Myasthenia Gravis, and the many lessons that come with both.
Whether you’re living with chronic illness, supporting someone who is, or simply seeking understanding, know that you are always welcome here.
Please consider liking, subscribing, and sharing this diary entry. Your support helps raise awareness, build understanding, and remind others that they are never alone on their own journey.
With gratitude,
Founder • Author • Advocate • Future Wellness Coach
Kia Lorice
The Dual Diagnosis Diaries 💜
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