Some days chronic illness whispers.
Other days, it kicks the door open, makes itself comfortable, and announces:
“Nobody better get on our nerves today.”
Today is one of those days.
A high-pain, high-symptom, low-energy kind of day.
And apparently, my tolerance for foolishness decreases in direct proportion to how much my body is already dealing with.
I don’t know if that equation has been scientifically studied, but I’ve personally conducted enough field research to stand behind my findings. 😂
💜 When Your Body Takes Up All the Available Space
Living with chronic illness means there are days when my body is already using every bit of energy I have just to exist.
Pain is exhausting.
Weakness is exhausting.
Fatigue is exhausting.
Trying to function while pretending none of those things are distracting you?
Also exhausting.
And when Crohn’s and MG—my two very opinionated roommates—both decide they have something to contribute to the day’s agenda, I’m managing symptoms, conserving energy, calculating how much I can realistically accomplish, and trying to remain a functioning member of society.
That doesn’t leave much energy for anything else.
Certainly not unnecessary foolishness.
On a good day, I might have plenty of patience.
On a high-symptom day?
Please allow 3–5 business days for my patience to process. 😂
I’m not suddenly antisocial.
I’m not being snobby.
I’m not lazy.
And I’m not intentionally trying to be difficult.
My body is simply demanding more of me than usual.
And when my body demands more, I have less available to give.
😒 Pain Has a Way of Shortening the Fuse
One thing people don’t always understand about chronic pain and chronic illness is that the symptoms don’t stay neatly contained in whichever part of your body is misbehaving.
They follow you everywhere.
Into conversations.
Into work.
Into relationships.
Into your ability to concentrate.
Into your sleep.
Even into how much noise, stimulation, conversation, or general human interaction you can tolerate.
When your body and brain are already processing pain, weakness, fatigue, discomfort, and whatever other nonsense chronic illness decided to add to today’s menu, little inconveniences can suddenly feel significantly bigger.
So yes, sometimes I’m quieter.
Sometimes my answers are shorter.
Sometimes I retreat into my own little corner of the world.
And sometimes my facial expression says something my mouth had the good sense not to. 😂
That last one remains a work in progress.
🛑 What I Actually Need
On days like this, I don’t need someone telling me to push through.
Trust me.
People living with chronic illness become professional push-throughers.
We’ve pushed through appointments.
We’ve pushed through workdays.
We’ve pushed through family obligations.
We’ve pushed through symptoms nobody else could see while smiling and saying, “I’m fine.”
But sometimes pushing through isn’t what my body needs.
Sometimes I need rest.
I need peace.
I need patience.
I need understanding.
And I need acceptance.
Not just acceptance from the people around me.
Acceptance from myself.
Because one of the hardest lessons chronic illness continues to teach me is that I don’t have to love what my body is doing today to accept where it is.
I don’t need to love this version of the day. I just need to accept that this is where my body is today and respond to it accordingly.
That may mean resting.
Canceling something.
Being quieter.
Doing less.
Setting a boundary.
Or simply admitting:
Today is hard.
I can be grateful for my life and still hate how my body feels today.
I can love the people around me and still not want to talk.
I can be strong and still need to lie down.
I can have a sense of humor and still say:
Not today. Seriously. Not. Today. 😂
💭 Then Comes the Guilt
This is the part we don’t talk about enough.
Because sometimes pain and exhaustion make me irritable.
And sometimes, after the pain eases or I’ve had time to decompress, the guilt shows up.
Maybe my tone was sharper than I intended.
Maybe I didn’t have my usual patience.
Maybe someone caught me at exactly the wrong moment and received the:
Kia Chronic Illness Customer Service Department: CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
version of me. 😂
And if that happens, I can apologize.
I can acknowledge my behavior.
I can take responsibility when necessary.
But I can also give myself grace.
Being in pain doesn’t give me permission to mistreat people—but being human means I won’t always navigate pain perfectly.
Both things can be true.
I don’t get a free pass to be cruel because I’m hurting.
But I also can’t expect myself to navigate a body that’s screaming for rest with the temperament of Winnie the Pooh peacefully strolling through the Hundred Acre Wood.
Some days I’m Pooh.
Some days I’m Eeyore.
And some days I’m pretty sure I’m Rabbit yelling:
“WHO TOUCHED MY STUFF?” 😂
Balance.
🌻 Tomorrow May Be Different
That’s another thing chronic illness has taught me.
Today’s body isn’t necessarily tomorrow’s body.
A high-pain day doesn’t erase the person I was yesterday.
A difficult flare doesn’t mean every day will feel this way.
A low-tolerance moment doesn’t suddenly make me a bad person.
These days come.
Eventually, they go.
And while I certainly don’t enjoy them, I’m learning that I don’t need to fight myself on top of fighting my body.
Sometimes acceptance means saying:
This is what I have available today.
Not what I had yesterday.
Not what I wish I had.
Not what someone else expects me to have.
What I actually have.
And then I work with that.
😂 A Small Public Service Announcement
So, if you encounter me on one of these days, understand that I may need a little more space and a little less conversation.
And if you must approach me?
Proceed carefully.
Maybe bring snacks.
Definitely don’t bring nonsense. 😂💜
Because my body hurts.
My energy is limited.
My roommates are apparently holding a committee meeting without my permission.
And my tolerance for unnecessary foolishness is currently sitting comfortably at:
ZERO SPOONS.
Management apologizes for the inconvenience.
Normal operating hours will resume whenever Crohn’s, MG, and the rest of my body decide to stop acting like they pay rent around here.
Considering their history…
that could be a while. 😂
🎵 Music Playing…
“Just Like Fire” — P!nk
Because some days aren’t about quietly pretending everything is fine.
Sometimes the energy is simply:
I’m here. I’m doing my best. I’m managing more than you can see.
Please don’t add foolishness to the itinerary. 😂🔥💜
💭 Reflection Corner
Does pain, fatigue, or a flare change how much interaction and stimulation you can handle?
And on those difficult days, are you learning to give yourself permission to work with the body you have today instead of judging yourself for the body you wish you had?
💜 Until Next Time…
Chronic illness may influence how I move through the day, but it does not get to define who I am.
Some days I advocate.
Some days I educate.
Some days I laugh.
Some days I rest.
And some days my greatest accomplishment is making it through the entire day without telling somebody exactly what I was thinking. 😂
All of those days count.
So today, I’m choosing rest over guilt.
Acceptance over unrealistic expectations.
Peace over unnecessary foolishness.
And if my patience happens to return tomorrow?
Wonderful.
If not…
Please refer back to the 3–5 business day processing time. 😂💜
💜 The Dual Diagnosis Diaries
Honest stories. Real symptoms. Advocacy, education, and life with chronic illness—one diary entry at a time.
Kia Lorice
Founder • Author • Advocate • Future Wellness Coach
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