Dear Diary,
This weekend, I went home to D.C. for a very important reason.
My son decided to have my granddaughter’s first birthday party there so relatives who hadn’t had the chance to meet her could finally meet her, love on her, and celebrate her first trip around the sun.
And let me start by saying this:
The trip was absolutely worth it.
But it also taught me a few things about the current version of Kia.
Apparently, I am no longer built for red-eye flights.
And D.C. humidity and Myasthenia Gravis?
Absolutely not friends.
✈️ Apparently, My Red-Eye Era Is Over
I left LAX Tuesday night on a red-eye and landed in D.C. Wednesday morning around 6:30.
The plan seemed perfectly reasonable.
Fly overnight. Sleep on the plane. Wake up in D.C. Wednesday morning ready to start the day.
Except…
I DIDN’T SLEEP.
At all.
Not a nap.
Not a doze.
Not even one of those questionable plane naps where you wake up with your neck at a 90-degree angle, your mouth open, and absolutely no idea where you are.
Nothing.
By the time I landed Wednesday morning, I had been awake all night, and I spent most of the day somewhere between exhausted and delirious.
There was a time when I could probably pull something like that off.
Apparently, that Kia has left the building.
Nobody consulted me before making this change, but okay.
💻 PTO? No, Thank You.
Thankfully, I was finally able to sleep Wednesday night.
Thursday morning, I got up and logged in remotely for work.
I didn’t take PTO because I’ve gotten tired of using my PTO hours and then still clocking in, answering questions, responding to emails, solving problems, and doing work anyway.
At this point, if I’m going to be working…
I’m keeping my PTO hours.
Friday was pretty uneventful, which was probably exactly what my body needed because Saturday was the reason I came home in the first place.
🎂 My Assistant Turned ONE
Saturday was my granddaughter’s first birthday party at Jolly Yolly.
And it was wonderful.
The kids had a great time playing. The adults had a great time talking, laughing, catching up, and enjoying one another.
But the best part was watching family members who had never met my granddaughter finally get that opportunity.
They got to see her.
Hold her.
Love on her.
Celebrate her.
And I got to watch my little assistant be surrounded by people who were genuinely happy to celebrate her first birthday.
Those are the moments you can’t recreate later.
Those are the memories that make you say:
Yeah…I’d do it again.
Even knowing what my body was going to have to say about it afterward.
And trust me…
My body had A LOT to say.
💜 MG vs. D.C. Humidity
Throughout the entire trip, I noticed just how much the change in atmosphere was affecting my Myasthenia Gravis.
D.C. this time of year is humid.
Not cute humid.
Not oh, my hair is getting a little frizzy humid.
I’m talking about the kind of humidity where the air itself feels heavy.
And my body was not having it.
I’ve written before about how heat affects my MG and how quickly it can trigger severe shortness of breath.
But breathing in D.C. felt like I was trying to suck a watermelon through a straw.
Yes.
A whole watermelon.
Through a straw.
That is approximately how efficient my respiratory system felt.
I used what I had available—Mestinon, Qvar, and Albuterol—and nothing seemed to make breathing noticeably easier.
I could breathe.
But breathing felt like work.
And when something your body is supposed to do automatically suddenly requires effort, everything else feels harder too.
Walking.
Talking.
Laughing.
Moving around.
Just trying to enjoy yourself.
🫁 I Was Having Fun AND Struggling
That’s the part that stood out to me this weekend.
I was genuinely having a good time.
I was laughing.
Talking.
Enjoying my family.
Celebrating my granddaughter.
Making memories.
And at the exact same time, my body was struggling.
Both were happening.
I had a wonderful weekend—and my body paid dearly for helping me enjoy it.
One doesn’t cancel out the other.
The fact that I was smiling doesn’t mean breathing wasn’t difficult.
And the fact that breathing was difficult doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy to be there.
Sometimes joy and struggle occupy the exact same space.
✈️ And Now…I’m Home
As of a couple of hours ago, I’m officially back in Los Angeles.
I’m hoarse.
I’m tired.
And I am completely and utterly drained.
My body has basically put up a tiny white flag and announced:
Ma’am. We are CLOSED.
Unfortunately…
Life did not receive the closure notice.
I still have to work.
Emails still exist.
Responsibilities are still sitting there.
Things still need to get done.
And apparently, nobody told Monday that I just flew across the country, survived a red-eye, fought D.C. humidity for several days, celebrated a first birthday, flew back across the country, and would now like approximately 72 business hours to recover.
🌻 So When Exactly Am I Supposed to Rest?
That’s the question I’m sitting with today.
How do you let your body rest when your priorities are demanding attention?
Because my body isn’t politely suggesting rest right now.
It’s demanding it.
And my responsibilities are demanding my attention just as loudly.
Sometimes you know exactly what your body needs.
The problem isn’t recognizing it.
The problem is figuring out how to give your body what it needs when life refuses to stop long enough for you to do it.
I don’t have a profound answer today.
I don’t have some perfectly packaged lesson about balance.
I’m tired.
That’s it.
I’m home.
I’m exhausted.
And somehow, I still have things to do.
💭 Reflection Corner
Would I trade this weekend?
Absolutely not.
My granddaughter turned one.
My family gathered together.
Relatives who hadn’t met her finally got to meet her.
We laughed.
We talked.
We celebrated.
We made memories.
And those memories mattered enough for me to get on that plane.
Sometimes something can be completely worth doing and still cost you physically.
This weekend was worth it.
Now I’m paying the bill.
And apparently, MG accepts payment exclusively in exhaustion.
But if exhaustion is the bill for watching my granddaughter celebrate her first birthday surrounded by people who love her?
I’ll pay it.
I may complain about the invoice…
But I’ll pay it. 😂
🎵 Music Playing…
“Good Days” — SZA
Because even when your body is exhausted, a good day—or a good weekend—is still allowed to be exactly that.
Good.
💬 Your Turn
For my fellow chronic illness travelers:
Have you ever taken a trip, attended an event, or done something that was completely worth it emotionally—but left your body absolutely depleted afterward?
And when your body says REST but your responsibilities say KEEP GOING, how do you decide what gets your attention first?
💜 Until Next Time…
Today, there isn’t some huge life lesson.
My body wants rest.
My responsibilities want attention.
And I’m trying to figure out how to give a little bit to both.
But my granddaughter had an amazing first birthday surrounded by family who loves her.
And that makes this exhausted KiKi very happy.
So yes…
I’d make the trip again.
I just wouldn’t take the red-eye.
And maybe next time we’ll discuss having the party somewhere with approximately ZERO percent humidity. 😂
Because after spending several days trying to breathe D.C. air, I genuinely don’t understand how people living with MG survive that kind of humidity on a regular basis.
After a few days, I was DONE.
So here I am.
Back home.
Hoarse.
Exhausted.
Breathing easier.
And saying something I never thought would come out of my mouth:
I have never been so happy to breathe L.A. smog in my life. 😂🌴
With love, laughter, advocacy, and absolutely no plans to join the Red-Eye Flight Association again anytime soon,
Kia Lorice
Founder • Author • Advocate • Future Wellness Coach
The Dual Diagnosis Diaries
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