Dear Diary,
Apparently, I decided that traveling for work wasn’t stressful enough on its own. So naturally, I added a little procrastination, forgotten AirPods, an unexpected flight delay, a missing wallet, and a digestive system that apparently had its own travel itinerary.
Because why have a normal travel day when you can turn a simple flight to Reno into a full-blown comedy of errors?
And the best part?
All of this happened before I even made it to Nevada. 🙄😂
🧳 Procrastination? Who Is She?
I recently had to travel to Reno, Nevada, for work.
Now, anyone who knows me knows I am a planner. I plan EVERYTHING. I like organization, schedules, and knowing exactly what I’m doing and when I’m doing it.
So explain to me why I waited until the MORNING OF MY FLIGHT to pack.
I’ll wait.
Because I certainly don’t have an explanation.
Procrastination at its finest. And completely out of character for me.
Eventually, I got myself packed, gathered my belongings, and headed out to charge my car before going to the airport.
That’s when I realized I’d forgotten my AirPods.
DAMNIT! 🤦🏽♀️
Now, flying without my AirPods is simply unacceptable. I need my music, my entertainment, and the ability to ignore the world around me when necessary.
So I charged my car and headed to my son’s house so he could take me to LAX.
And of course, he was still asleep.
Sir. We have a flight to catch. Well, I have a flight to catch. You just have a mother to transport. 😂
After waking him up, we headed BACK to my house to retrieve my precious AirPods.
Forty-five minutes later, we finally arrived at LAX.
✈️ A Flight Delay? Well, Would You Look at God!
Just as we arrived, I received a notification that my flight was delayed by one hour and twelve minutes.
Normally, this would annoy me.
You see, I have perfected my airport routine. I arrive approximately 20 to 45 minutes before boarding. Not three hours early. Not two hours early.
I know what I’m doing.
Or at least I thought I did.
But on this particular morning, that flight delay turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
My son and I said our goodbyes, and I headed inside.
First stop?
The bathroom.
Because apparently, Crohn’s had already reviewed the travel itinerary and decided we needed to make some adjustments.
🚽 Crohn’s Has Entered the Chat
Thirty minutes.
THIRTY WHOLE MINUTES.
That’s how long I spent in the airport bathroom.
And suddenly, that flight delay wasn’t looking so bad after all.
Had my flight been on time, there’s a very real possibility I would have missed it.
And can we take a moment to thank my little assistant for unknowingly saving the day?
Because I had borrowed some of her baby wipes for my trip.
Best decision ever.
Forget travel-sized toiletries. When you have Crohn’s, baby wipes deserve a permanent place on the packing list.
After finally getting myself together, I headed upstairs to TSA.
Shoutout to Delta for touchless screening because I made it through security in less than five minutes.
A small victory!
☕ Starbucks, Survival & Bathroom Break Number Two
With time to spare, I headed to Starbucks.
At this point, I was running on fumes, and caffeine was no longer optional. It was a necessity.
Yes, I know. Caffeine and Crohn’s don’t always play nicely together.
But I had places to be, people to see, and apparently a digestive system determined to test my patience.
While sitting at the gate, I spotted a coworker. We started chatting, catching up, and enjoying what I hoped would be a few peaceful moments before boarding.
Then Crohn’s tapped me on the shoulder.
Again.
Excuse me?
Didn’t we JUST spend half an hour handling your business?
Apparently, that wasn’t enough.
So I politely asked my coworker to watch my bags and Starbucks while I made yet another trip to the bathroom.
Crohn’s, PLEASE get your life together. Today is not the day! 😩
After returning, I resumed our conversation as though my intestines weren’t actively plotting against me.
Because that’s what we do when living with chronic illness.
We handle the chaos, straighten our clothes, and carry on.
🍑 The Million-Dollar Question: Gas or Something Else?
Finally, it was time to board.
Praise the Lord!
I gathered my belongings, got in line, and prepared to make my way onto the plane.
My boarding pass was scanned.
And right at that exact moment, I felt it.
That familiar sensation.
That question every person with Crohn’s knows all too well.
Is it gas? Or is it something else?
Under normal circumstances, this might be a simple question.
But when you have Crohn’s, this is a high-stakes decision.
One wrong move and your entire travel experience can go from business trip to crime scene.
And I was NOT about to become the reason Delta needed to replace an airplane seat. 😂
So there I was, walking down the jet bridge, clenching my butt cheeks like my dignity depended on it.
Because quite frankly, it did.
I made it onto the plane, found my seat, and sat down as carefully as humanly possible.
No sudden movements.
No unnecessary shifting.
And absolutely NO experimenting with whether that feeling was actually gas.
I sat perfectly still.
Like a statue.
A very uncomfortable, slightly caffeinated statue silently praying that her intestines would cooperate long enough to get to Reno.
💳 No Wallet, No Outlets, and Apparently No Common Sense 😂
Somehow, I survived boarding without an unfortunate incident.
Small victories, people. SMALL VICTORIES!
We finally took off, and I thought perhaps the worst of my travel adventures was behind me.
Oh, how wrong I was.
Once we were in the air, I reached into my bag for my power bank because, of course, this plane didn’t have outlets to charge my phone.
And that’s when I made another discovery.
I DIDN’T HAVE MY WALLET! 😳
Excuse me?!
How in the world did I manage to pack my PASSPORT but forget my WALLET?
Let me remind you, I am the woman who plans EVERYTHING. I normally have my travel essentials organized and ready well before departure.
Yet somehow, on this particular trip, I forgot my AirPods, made an emergency trip back home to retrieve them, and STILL left my wallet behind.
But I remembered my passport.
For a domestic flight.
To RENO.
Make it make sense! 🤦🏽♀️😂
At this point, I was beginning to question whether I’d packed my common sense or left that sitting on the dresser next to my wallet.
And the best part?
I was already in the air.
There was no turning around. No calling my son to bring it to me. No fixing this particular mistake.
Thank God for Apple Pay!
Because without it, I would have been up shit’s creek without a paddle.
No wallet. No physical cards. No cash.
Just me, my phone, and a whole lot of faith that every place I needed to spend money in Reno accepted Apple Pay.
And considering I was traveling for WORK, this was definitely not the adventure I had planned.
First Crohn’s tried to take me out in the airport bathroom. Then I nearly had a questionable situation while boarding. And now I was headed to another state without my wallet.
Reno or Bust? At this point, I was leaning heavily toward BUST! 😂
And we hadn’t even landed yet.
🚽 Mile-High Misery: When Nature Calls at 30,000 Feet ✈️😂
Approximately 40 minutes into the flight, my bladder and digestive system apparently decided to form an alliance.
Because why should one bodily function act up when they can BOTH make my life miserable?
And just like that, I was forced to make my way to the airplane bathroom.
Now, let me explain something.
I HATE airplane bathrooms!
They’re tiny, cramped, and make me feel claustrophobic. There’s barely enough room to turn around, let alone handle the kind of business Crohn’s sometimes requires.
But desperate times call for desperate measures.
So off I went.
I opened the bathroom door, stepped inside, and immediately regretted every decision that had brought me to this moment.
GOOD LORD! WHAT DIED IN HERE?! 🤢😂
The woman before me had DEFINITELY taken a dump.
And here’s the kicker.
SHE DIDN’T EVEN FLUSH!
MA’AM!!!!
Not only did you leave behind a smell that could strip paint off the walls, but you also left the EVIDENCE?!
What kind of criminal behavior is this?!
Whatever that woman ate before boarding this flight needs to be investigated, identified, and immediately added to the TSA prohibited-items list.
Because clearly, she was transporting hazardous materials. 😂
Now, before anyone calls me judgmental, let me acknowledge the obvious.
Who am I to judge?
I was literally standing there preparing to do the exact same thing.
BUT I WAS GOING TO FLUSH!
There are rules to this bathroom business, people. Especially when you’re sharing one tiny bathroom with an entire airplane full of strangers.
And rule number one should be:
FLUSH THE DAMN TOILET! 🚽😂
Here I was, a woman with Crohn’s Disease, judging somebody else’s digestive system while mine was preparing to make its own contribution to the atmosphere.
The irony was not lost on me.
The audacity. MY audacity! 😂
But listen, Diary, I had bigger problems.
My bladder was demanding immediate attention, Crohn’s was refusing to negotiate, and I was trapped in a bathroom roughly the size of a coat closet.
All I could do was handle my business, pray for adequate ventilation, and hope the next passenger showed me a little more grace than I had just shown the woman before me.
Because karma has a funny way of showing up.
And sometimes, apparently, it shows up at 30,000 feet.
But at least I had the decency to dispose of the evidence.
Because Crohn’s may have stolen my dignity on more than one occasion, but it has NEVER stolen my home training! 😂💜
🚽 Mission Accomplished: The Return to My Seat
After surviving the smell, the claustrophobia, and my own digestive system’s rebellion, I finally did what I came to do.
I dropped some kids off at the pool. 🚽😂
Flushed the toilet, of course, because unlike the woman before me, I was raised with some home training!
I washed my hands, gathered what little dignity I had left, and made my way back to my seat.
And would you believe it?
NO FURTHER INCIDENTS!
No emergency bathroom runs. No questionable gas. No additional surprises from Crohn’s.
For the first time all morning, my body apparently decided to cooperate.
Hallelujah!
At this point, I wasn’t asking for much. Just a peaceful remainder of the flight and the opportunity to arrive in Reno without another gastrointestinal emergency.
Was that really too much to ask?
Apparently not.
A win is a win, people! 😂💜
🤦🏽♀️ From Frequent Flyer to Rookie Traveler
Now, here’s what makes this entire adventure even more ridiculous.
I USED TO TRAVEL FOR WORK EVERY SINGLE WEEK!
Every. Single. Week.
Airports, hotels, rental cars, boarding passes, TSA checkpoints. I had the whole routine down to a science.
I was practically a professional traveler.
So how in the world did I manage to make this many ROOKIE mistakes on one little trip to Reno?
I waited until the morning of my flight to pack.
Forgot my AirPods.
Had to make an extra trip home.
And somehow managed to pack my passport but forget my WALLET!
MY WALLET, PEOPLE!
In all my years of traveling for work, I have NEVER forgotten my wallet.
Not once.
But apparently, I decided this was the trip to start.
And let’s not forget Crohn’s, who clearly felt left out of the planning process and decided to contribute a few surprises of its own.
I don’t know whether to blame procrastination, being out of practice, or the fact that my brain apparently went on vacation before the rest of me.
But one thing is certain.
The old Kia would NEVER! 😂
I used to move through airports like a seasoned professional. This time, I was just happy I remembered which airport I was flying out of.
At least I remembered my passport.
For Reno.
NEVADA.
I still can’t get over that one. 🤦🏽♀️😂
🛬 Touchdown in Reno: Dignity Still Intact! 😂
Ladies and gentlemen, we have officially landed in Reno, Nevada!
And I am happy to report that despite Crohn’s best efforts to sabotage this entire trip…
I DID NOT POOP MYSELF! 🎉😂
Can we get a round of applause?!
Because after the morning I had, arriving in Reno with clean underwear, my dignity mostly intact, and no additional bathroom emergencies felt like a MAJOR accomplishment.
No wallet? Check.
Forgotten AirPods? Check.
Multiple bathroom emergencies? Check.
An unflushed crime scene at 30,000 feet? Unfortunately, check.
But an accident in my pants?
NOT TODAY, SATAN! 😂
Now, I still have a couple of days here in Reno, and while Crohn’s has already made her presence known, let’s not forget that I travel with TWO roommates.
Crohn’s and MG.
And neither one of them has ever been particularly respectful of my schedule.
So let’s all say a little prayer that these two decide to behave themselves while I’m here.
No incidents.
No accidents.
No unexpected medical adventures.
Just a peaceful, productive work trip.
Is that too much to ask?
Knowing my roommates, probably. 🙄😂
But for now, I’m claiming this victory.
I MADE IT TO RENO, AND I DIDN’T POOP MYSELF!
And after everything it took to get here, that’s worth celebrating.
🎵 Music Playing…
“Hold On” — Wilson Phillips 🎶
Because between Crohn’s, the forgotten wallet, and that airplane bathroom, I spent most of this trip holding on to something.
My patience. My dignity. My sanity.
And occasionally, my butt cheeks. 😂
💭 Reflection Corner: Even the Pros Have Rookie Moments
This trip reminded me of two things.
First, no matter how organized or experienced you are, sometimes life decides to humble you.
I spent years traveling for work every week. I knew exactly how to navigate airports, pack efficiently, and get from point A to point B without unnecessary drama.
Yet one little trip to Reno had me questioning my entire travel résumé.
Second, living with chronic illness means accepting that even the best-laid plans can go sideways.
Crohn’s doesn’t care about boarding times, flight delays, or whether you’re trapped in a tiny airplane bathroom.
When it decides to show up, you adjust.
You find the nearest bathroom, hope you remembered your baby wipes, and keep moving.
And sometimes, you just have to laugh at yourself.
Because if I didn’t laugh about this trip, I might actually cry.
Between the forgotten AirPods, the missing wallet, the multiple bathroom emergencies, and the woman who apparently believed flushing was optional, this was one adventure I couldn’t have planned if I tried.
This will definitely be a trip I will NEVER forget.
Not because Reno was particularly exciting, but because getting there was an adventure all by itself.
And the funniest part?
I was just trying to go to WORK! 😂
And considering I still have a couple of days in Reno with Crohn’s and MG, something tells me this adventure is far from over.
💬 Your Turn, Diary Readers
Have you ever been so experienced at something that you couldn’t believe the rookie mistakes you suddenly made?
Or had a travel day where absolutely NOTHING went according to plan?
And please tell me I’m not the only person who has encountered someone who apparently forgot that airplane toilets have a FLUSH button!
Share your funniest travel mishaps in the comments.
Because sometimes life gives us lemons, and sometimes it gives us Crohn’s, a missing wallet, and an unflushed airplane toilet.
Either way, we might as well find something to laugh about. 😂💜
🎬 Coming Tomorrow: Oh Reno! 🌻✈️
Now, if you think getting to Reno was an adventure, just wait.
We still have a couple of days to get through, and with my two roommates tagging along, there’s really no telling what might happen next.
Be sure to come back tomorrow for the sequel:
🌻 The Dual Diagnosis Diaries | Kia’s Journey: Oh Reno!
Because apparently, getting here was only the beginning.
Reno or Bust? Baby, I made it! Now let’s see if I survive Reno itself! 😂💜
Life doesn’t always go according to plan, and sometimes even the most experienced among us find ourselves navigating unexpected detours. Living with chronic illness adds another layer of unpredictability, but it doesn’t mean we stop living, traveling, working, or finding humor in the chaos.
Until next time, keep living, keep laughing, and remember that even when the journey gets messy, there’s always another story worth telling. 💜🌻
With love, laughter, and a little bit of chaos,
Kia Lorice
Founder • Author • Advocate • Future Wellness Coach
The Dual Diagnosis Diaries | Kia’s Journey
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