“Have you ever had one of those mornings where you wake up and think, ‘Today is the day I finally tackle that thing I’ve been avoiding for weeks?’ Yeah… me too.”
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🛏️ The Pillow Top That Judged Me for Three Weeks
For the last three weeks, my pillow top has been sitting on my bed, silently judging me.
Every day, I would glance at it and think, “I really need to take that to the laundromat.” And every day, my body would politely—or not so politely—remind me that my to-do list and my energy levels are rarely on the same page.
But this morning felt different.
Now, when I say I woke up with energy, I need to clarify: for most people, “having energy” means cleaning the house, running errands, and maybe squeezing in a workout. For me, “having energy” means I woke up feeling slightly less exhausted than usual.
Progress is progress.
I’m convinced my recent decision to start taking a multivitamin at night deserves at least partial credit.
So, fueled by optimism and questionable confidence, I decided that today was the day.
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🚗 Mission: Remove the Pillow Top
As I started pulling the pillow top off the mattress, I could literally feel my battery percentage dropping. By the time I wrestled it off the bed and somehow got it into the car, I was already winded.
Most people probably would have taken that as a sign to rest.
Apparently, I am not most people.
At that point, I had already committed to the mission. Since I was going to the laundromat anyway, I figured I might as well bring my clothes too. After all, one giant load at the laundromat beats three or four loads at home.
When I got there, I started with the easy task: unloading the clothes from my rolling hamper. I got my quarters, loaded the washer, dumped in the detergent, and thought, “Look at me being productive.”
Then came the pillow top.
I spotted one of the giant industrial washers and confidently headed back to the car.
Confidence, however, quickly turned into chaos.
Somewhere between lifting the pillow top and carrying it inside, I nearly lost my breath, my balance, and whatever common sense had convinced me this was a good idea.
But by then, there was no turning back.
I stuffed the pillow top into the machine, fed it thirteen dollars’ worth of quarters, added detergent, and stood there feeling oddly accomplished.
Exhausted, but accomplished.
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❄️ Air Conditioning and a Sermon
Instead of waiting inside the laundromat—which was approximately seven degrees hotter than my body can tolerate these days—I retreated to my car and sat in the air conditioning.
While I waited, I listened to a sermon from Pastor Battle at Zion Church online and tried to recover some of the energy I had started the morning with.
Thirty minutes later, my clothes were done washing.
The clothes were easy enough to transfer to the dryer.
The pillow top, on the other hand, still had eleven minutes left.
I decided to wait.
Eleven minutes doesn’t sound like much—until you’re already running on fumes.
When the washer finally stopped, removing the pillow top proved to be just as complicated as getting it in there. Somehow, I managed to drag, roll, and force it into the dryer.
By that point, my upper-arm strength had officially clocked out for the day.
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🧺 The Final Boss Battle
I started the dryer and returned to my car once again, hoping to recover enough energy to survive the final round.
Forty minutes later, it was time.
The clothes went back into the rolling hamper without much drama.
Then came my final boss battle: retrieving the pillow top.
Thankfully, the laundromat had one of those rolling baskets.
Unfortunately, the basket wasn’t allowed outside.
So there I stood, already completely depleted, trying to figure out how I was going to carry this giant pillow top to my car without collapsing in the parking lot.
To this day, I genuinely do not know how I managed it.
I somehow carried it outside, loaded everything into the car, and immediately accepted defeat.
Before I even pulled into the driveway, I called my son and said, “You’re going to have to come outside and help me because I have absolutely nothing left.”
At that point, my contribution to the household was complete. I had successfully washed the pillow top and earned my position as supervisor while my son carried everything into the house.
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💜 The Part People Don’t See
And that’s the part people don’t always understand about chronic illness.
Sometimes, we wake up feeling good—good enough to believe we can tackle ordinary tasks. We convince ourselves that maybe today will be different.
But invisible illnesses have a way of reminding us that what seems simple to everyone else can feel like climbing a mountain.
This morning, I woke up believing I had enough energy to conquer my to-do list.
By the afternoon, all I wanted was a nap.
Living with Crohn’s Disease and Myasthenia Gravis means constantly negotiating with a body that changes the rules without warning. A little extra energy can trick you into believing you have a full tank when, in reality, you’re only running on a quarter of one.
Today’s mountain just happened to be a pillow top.
And while my body may have lost the battle afterward, the truth is that I still finished what I started.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with my bed and what will likely be the best nap of my life.
And, in case you’re wondering, the clothes are still sitting in the hamper, and the pillow top—while it did make it back onto the bed—is definitely not on there the way it’s supposed to be. Apparently, wrestling it into the washer and dryer used up every last ounce of energy I had.
Maybe tomorrow’s burst of energy will allow me to actually put it back on the bed the way it belongs.
As Ice Cube once said, “Today was a good day.”
Well… mostly.
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💜 Thank you for taking the time to read this entry from The Dual Diagnosis Diaries.
If this story resonated with you, taught you something new, or reminded you that you’re not alone, please consider liking, subscribing, and sharing this blog. Your support helps raise awareness about Crohn’s Disease, Myasthenia Gravis, polyautoimmunity, and the realities of living with invisible illnesses.
Together, we can educate, advocate, and remind others that no one has to navigate chronic illness alone.
Founder • Author • Advocate • Future Wellness Coach
Kia Lorice
The Dual Diagnosis Diaries 💜
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