Dear Diary,
I came across a message while scrolling that stopped me in my tracks. I do not know where the words originated, but they stayed with me:
“You are not a burden. You have a burden—which, by definition, is too heavy to carry on your own.”
Whew.
Sometimes social media gives us nonsense, unsolicited opinions, and recipes we save knowing full well we are never going to make them. But every once in a while, it gives us exactly the words we did not realize we needed.
This was one of those times.
💭 When Illness Makes You Feel Like “Too Much”
Chronic illness has a way of making you question the amount of space you take up in other people’s lives.
You need someone to drive you to a procedure.
You need help carrying something because your muscles have decided they are officially off the clock.
You cancel plans because Crohn’s is acting up, MG is showing out, or your body has scheduled a flare without checking your calendar first.
You need patience. Flexibility. Understanding. Rest.
After a while, needing so much can make you feel like you are too much.
The guilt creeps in quietly.
You apologize for changing plans.
You apologize for needing help.
You apologize for being tired.
You apologize for symptoms you did not choose, diagnoses you did not ask for, and limitations you cannot simply positive-think your way out of.
Some of us have become so accustomed to apologizing for our illnesses that “I’m sorry” comes out before “I need help.”
🧳 I Am Carrying Something Heavy
There is an important difference between being a burden and carrying one.
I am not the weight.
I am the person trying to survive underneath it.
I am carrying Crohn’s Disease.
I am carrying MuSK-positive Myasthenia Gravis.
I am carrying medications, procedures, infusions, medical appointments, insurance battles, unpredictable symptoms, interrupted sleep, physical limitations, and the emotional exhaustion of never knowing what my body may do next.
That is a lot for one person to carry.
Some days, I manage it with grace, humor, and a color-coded calendar.
Other days, one minor inconvenience has me ready to resign from adulthood effective immediately.
But struggling beneath the weight does not mean I am weak. Asking someone to help me hold it does not make me a burden.
It makes me human.
🤝 Help Is Not a Debt
This may be one of the hardest lessons chronic illness has tried to teach me: receiving help does not create a debt I must spend the rest of my life repaying.
Love is not an invoice.
Support is not a running tab.
The people who genuinely care about me do not measure my worth by how independently I can suffer.
They are not keeping score of every appointment, canceled plan, hospital visit, or moment when I needed them to show up.
And if someone makes me feel ashamed for needing help during one of the hardest seasons of my life, that says more about the limits of their compassion than it does about my value.
My needs may sometimes be heavy, but my existence is not a burden.
💜 My Worth Does Not Disappear When I Rest
Living with chronic illness can distort the way we measure our value.
We begin to believe we are worthy only when we are working, producing, showing up, solving problems, or taking care of everyone else.
But when my body forces me to stop, I am still worthy.
Even when I need care instead of providing it.
Even when I have nothing left to give.
Even when my greatest accomplishment for the day is taking my medication, eating something, and relocating from the bed to the couch.
Resting does not erase my value.
Needing assistance does not cancel my independence.
Being sick does not make me less deserving of love.
🌊 Let Someone Help Carry It
The image that inspired this reflection showed the message written on a heart against the backdrop of a beach.
Maybe that is why it stayed with me.
The ocean does not apologize for its waves. It simply keeps moving—sometimes gently, sometimes forcefully, and sometimes with enough attitude to remind everyone who is really in charge.
Perhaps I can learn something from that.
I do not have to apologize for every wave that moves through my life.
I do not have to hide the difficult days to make other people comfortable.
I do not have to carry every diagnosis, fear, responsibility, and emotion alone just to prove that I can.
Strength is not refusing help until I collapse.
Sometimes strength is finally admitting:
This is heavy.
I am tired.
Can you help me carry it?
🎵 Music Playing in My Head While Writing This
“Bridge Over Troubled Water” — Simon & Garfunkel
Because sometimes love looks like someone standing beside you—not to remove every burden, but to help you make it safely to the other side.
💭 Reflection Corner
Have you ever mistaken needing support for being a burden?
What would change if you stopped apologizing for the help you genuinely need?
Who in your life makes you feel safe enough to say, “I cannot carry this alone today”?
If you are struggling beneath the weight of chronic illness, grief, caregiving, family responsibilities, or simply life itself, please remember:
You are not the burden.
You are a person carrying something heavy.
And you were never meant to carry everything alone.
What burden are you carrying that you may need help holding today?
Thank you for reading, reflecting, and walking beside me through another page of The Dual Diagnosis Diaries.
If this entry spoke to you, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who may need the reminder that needing help does not make them a burden.
Founder • Author • Advocate • Future Wellness Coach
Kia Lorice
The Dual Diagnosis Diaries 💜
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