Dear Diary,
Today was infusion day.
And after the day I had, I was actually looking forward to it.
Yes, I realize how strange that sentence probably sounds to someone who doesn’t live this life. Most people don’t finish a long workday thinking, Whew! Thank goodness it’s time for my infusion. 😂
But apparently, this is where we are.
I spent the day with the asset manager doing budget reviews. My meetings started at 8:30 a.m. and went until 5:00 p.m., which meant my normal infusion routine had to change.
I usually receive my infusion in the morning, but budgets clearly did not consult MG before taking over my entire calendar.
Thankfully, my nurse was willing to work around my schedule and agreed to meet me at 6:00 p.m.
So after spending nearly the entire day reviewing numbers, assumptions, expenses, revenue, and everything else that comes with budget season, I closed out my workday and switched hats.
Regional Property Manager Kia clocking out. Chronic Illness Kia reporting for duty.
Because clearly my calendar needed one more appointment.
But strangely enough, I was ready for this one.
Bring on the Rystiggo. 💜
💜 A Little Infusion Anxiety
I will admit, I was a little leery when I realized my usual digital infusion pump had been swapped out for a non-digital one.
When you’ve gotten comfortable with the way your treatment is normally administered, an equipment change is enough to earn a little side-eye.
Ummm…where is my regular pump, and why are we changing things? 👀😂
Thankfully, my worries were short-lived.
The infusion went off without a single incident.
Blood pressure? Normal.
Breathing? Good.
Heart rate? Stayed under 90.
MG received the memo that we had already put in a full day’s work and, for once, decided not to add any extracurricular activities.
Thank you, roommate. Your cooperation is appreciated. 😂
😴 Okay, Now Can I Go to Bed?
Normally, Rystiggo doesn’t make me tired afterward.
But after spending an entire workday staring at spreadsheets and reviewing budget numbers before starting an evening infusion, I was spent.
My brain had processed its last number.
My body was requesting immediate horizontal positioning.
And my bed was calling my name.
I fully intended to answer.
There was just one tiny problem.
My assistant had other plans.
👶🏽 KiKi, Your Shift Isn’t Over
My assistant hadn’t seen me all day, and apparently “KiKi is tired” wasn’t sufficient justification for my absence.
She wanted my undivided attention.
Immediately.
Now, I could have explained that KiKi had been working since 8:30 that morning.
I could have explained that KiKi had spent the day reviewing budgets.
I could have explained that KiKi had just finished an infusion.
But have you ever tried negotiating with a one-year-old?
Exactly.
So despite my body telling me otherwise…
KiKi reported for duty. 😂🌻
Because my granddaughter wanted her KiKi.
And some jobs you simply don’t clock out of.
😂 Apparently, My Bed Was Collateral Damage
First, my assistant gave me a piece of her mind for having the audacity to be unavailable all day.
Then she destroyed my bed.
Because expressing her displeasure verbally clearly wasn’t enough.
There needed to be property damage. 😂
Once she was satisfied with the level of destruction she had caused, she decided her work with me was complete.
It was time to move on to her next victim.
Her father.
And who was I to interfere?
Go forth, little assistant. Daddy has had entirely too much peace today. 😂
KiKi had officially been released from duty.
Or so I thought.
🌻 This Is the Living Part
Days like today remind me that living with chronic illness isn’t always about choosing between being sick and living your life.
Sometimes you’re doing both at the exact same time.
Today I worked.
I sat through budget reviews.
I received my treatment.
I monitored my body.
And then I became KiKi.
Not because I suddenly wasn’t tired.
Not because MG disappeared.
And definitely not because those spreadsheets hadn’t already taken every functioning brain cell I had left. 😂
I did it because this life I’m fighting so hard to maintain includes moments like these.
Treatment helps me keep living.
But this is the living part.
My granddaughter wanted her KiKi.
Was KiKi tired?
Absolutely.
Did my assistant care?
Not even a little bit. 😂
Would I report for duty again?
Every single time. 🌻💜
Sometimes strength isn’t pushing through because you have to. Sometimes it’s finding enough energy for the people and moments that remind you why you keep fighting in the first place.
🎵 Music Playing…
“Isn’t She Lovely” — Stevie Wonder
Because after budgets, spreadsheets, MG, an evening infusion, and a body begging for sleep, one little girl still managed to convince KiKi there was enough energy left for one more shift.
💭 Reflection Corner
Living with chronic illness has taught me to listen to my body.
But it has also taught me that some moments are worth borrowing a little energy for.
Tonight, my assistant was one of them.
Tomorrow?
KiKi may be requesting a delayed start. 😂
🌙 And Now…Good Night
Eventually, my assistant decided she had terrorized KiKi enough for one evening and moved on to harass her father.
Finally.
Peace.
I started winding down, ready to crawl into what remained of my bed, when suddenly I remembered…
I hadn’t finished my diary entry for today.
Of course I hadn’t. 😂
So here I am.
Tired.
Running on fumes.
Probably operating on whatever percentage comes after zero.
But I couldn’t end the day without checking in with you all.
So, tired and running on fumes, I say:
Hello, everyone. 💜
And now…
Good night. 🌙
Because after budget reviews, spreadsheets, an evening infusion, and a very demanding one-year-old assistant…
KiKi has nothing else to give y’all tonight. 😂
She is officially OFF DUTY.
Until tomorrow, anyway. 🌻
💜 The Dual Diagnosis Diaries | Kia’s Journey
Living with chronic illness while still making room for family, laughter, love, work, and the moments that make all of this fighting worthwhile.
Kia Lorice
Founder • Author • Advocate • Future Wellness Coach
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