The Dual Diagnosis Diaries: 💜 Pain Doesn’t Need Proof

Dear Diary,

September is Pain Awareness Month. And now, on the last day of September, I keep thinking about how strange it is that something capable of affecting nearly every part of your life can still be completely invisible to everyone around you.

Pain doesn’t always look like pain.

Sometimes it looks like someone lying in bed, unable to move.

But sometimes it looks like someone answering emails.

Going to work.

Laughing with friends.

Running errands.

Showing up for family.

Making plans.

Taking pictures.

Living life.

And hurting the entire time.

💜 The Pain You Don’t See

Living with Crohn’s Disease and Myasthenia Gravis has taught me that there are many different kinds of pain.

There is the obvious physical pain—the cramping, abdominal pain, aching, pressure, muscle discomfort, and all the other sensations that come with having roommates who apparently never signed a lease but refuse to move out.

Then there is the pain that is harder to explain.

The exhaustion of waking up already tired.

The frustration of your body refusing to cooperate with plans your mind fully intended to keep.

The discomfort of trying to breathe when breathing suddenly requires thought and effort.

The emotional weight of wondering whether something you are feeling is simply another symptom you have learned to live with—or something that needs immediate attention.

Chronic illness teaches you to have conversations with your body that most people never have.

Is this normal-for-me pain?

Is this flare pain?

Is this something new?

Do I need to call the doctor?

Do I need the ER?

Or is this just another Tuesday with Crohn’s and MG?

That last one is said with humor.

But anyone living with chronic illness knows exactly how serious that question can actually be.

🦋 “But You Don’t Look Like You’re in Pain”

One of the hardest parts about invisible pain is that people often expect pain to have a certain appearance.

Apparently, if I am laughing, wearing makeup, working, traveling, baking, joking, or simply functioning, then my body must be behaving.

Meanwhile, my body did not receive that memo.

I can smile and hurt.

I can laugh and struggle.

I can work and be exhausted.

I can enjoy my life while simultaneously managing symptoms.

I can look fine and still not be fine.

All of those things can exist at the same time.

Chronic illness is complicated like that.

And I have learned that I do not owe anyone a performance of suffering just so my pain will be considered legitimate.

I should not have to look sick enough for someone else to believe that I am hurting.

💜 Pain Has More Than One Face

Pain isn’t always a warning that something catastrophic is happening.

Sometimes it is a warning, and changes in our symptoms deserve attention.

But chronic illness also means learning to live with symptoms that may return, fluctuate, disappear, and show back up whenever they feel like disrupting the regularly scheduled programming.

Some days, the pain is louder.

Other days, it settles into the background.

And sometimes the hardest part isn’t even the pain itself.

It is the constant calculation required to live around it.

How much energy do I have today?

How far can I walk?

Where is the bathroom?

How hot is it outside?

How much rest will I need afterward?

Can I do this today and still function tomorrow?

That invisible mental math is part of chronic illness too.

Nobody sees the calculations.

They only see the decision you made after doing them.

🌻 I Still Choose to Live My Life

This is something I have become increasingly intentional about.

I don’t want my life measured only by symptoms, treatments, procedures, diagnoses, doctor’s appointments, insurance battles, and everything my body sometimes cannot do.

Those things are part of my story.

They are not the entire story.

There are still vacations to take.

Birthdays to celebrate.

Family to love.

Friends to laugh with.

Beaches to sit beside.

Things to bake.

Music to play way too loudly.

And plenty of moments when Crohn’s and MG are simply going to have to come along for the ride because I refuse to wait for a perfectly symptom-free life before I start living mine.

That doesn’t mean ignoring my body.

It means learning to listen to it without allowing illness to become my entire identity.

Because I can acknowledge that I am in pain and still experience joy.

I can respect my limitations and still make plans.

I can have chronic illnesses and still have a life.

Those truths do not cancel each other out.

🎵 Music Playing…

“The Climb” — Miley Cyrus

Because living with chronic illness isn’t always about reaching some magical finish line where everything suddenly gets better.

Sometimes it’s about continuing to climb.

Resting when you need to.

Adjusting the route when your body demands it.

And continuing forward in whatever way you can.

💭 Reflection Corner

As Pain Awareness Month ends, I don’t want the conversation about chronic pain to end with it.

Believe people when they tell you they are hurting.

Understand that someone does not have to look miserable to be struggling.

Recognize that functioning does not mean symptom-free.

Remember that a good day does not erase a chronic illness.

And if you are the person living with invisible pain, please remember this:

Your pain does not become more legitimate because someone else finally understands it.

You don’t have to explain it perfectly.

You don’t have to prove it.

You don’t have to look sick enough.

And you certainly don’t have to stop living your life just to make your illness visible enough for other people to believe you.

September is ending.

Pain Awareness Month is ending.

But the conversation about chronic pain, invisible illness, and believing people when they tell us what their bodies are experiencing shouldn’t end with it.

Awareness matters in October.

It matters in January.

It matters on the good days when no one can tell.

And it matters on the hard days when simply getting through the day feels like an accomplishment.

Because pain doesn’t need proof.

It needs compassion.

💜 For my fellow chronic illness warriors: What is one thing you wish people understood about living with pain they cannot see?

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💜 The Dual Diagnosis Diaries

Living with one autoimmune disease is challenging. Living with two requires resilience.

Here, I share the realities of navigating life with Crohn’s Disease and Myasthenia Gravis—the symptoms, treatments, advocacy, humor, hard days, victories, and everything in between.

Because chronic illness may be part of my story, but it will never be the whole story.

Kia Lorice
Founder • Author • Advocate • Future Wellness Coach
The Dual Diagnosis Diaries